One factor in particular is the unique weakness of an abuser to be able to verbally abuse people, sometimes in a violent and loud manner, and yet nearly in the very same breath claim to be a victim of abuse when someone asks them a reasonable question in a quite manner.
I saw this exhibited the other day by the Governor of New York State, Andrew Cuomo. In one sentence he gave everyone a lecture how they had to be nice when interacting with him and ask not difficult questions in the same sentence he yelled at reporters who had dared to ask him a searching question. It instantly triggered back to my traumatic time at the Christian Fellowship!
Here is Cuomo telling reporters not to be obnoxious then yelling at them and then saying "I don't care what you think". Check out the interaction here.
The reason I highlight this issue is that leaders in controlling organisations and businesses also act in the same way. They expect to be treated really nicely and spoken to nicely but reserve the right to speak to people in an obnoxious and bullying way. When they are asked searching question, they instantly default claim victim status. I had a former leader in the CF churches do exactly this to me when I politely questioned one of their policies. The volcanic verbal eruption that followed definitely indicated the CF elder had perhaps not read his scriptures about the peaceable fruits of the Spirit!
The other great skill that controlling leaders have is the ability to gaslight their congregations and employees etc. Politicians are masters of this. Blame the opposition for the sins that we have been discovered doing!
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