Child kicked out of home by CF elder

[baptist1611]

I just heard that one of the elders of the local CF has kicked his 16 year old son out of the home because he did not want to continue in the CF. This child is well-behaved, studious, industrious, not involved in drugs or immorality, but he has realised that he cannot in good conscious remain in a false religion. For that his parents have effectively orphaned him. He couldn't move in with extended family because they are all CF and have likewise shunned him. Thankfully he has been taken in by a caring person who will fill the parental role that his actual parents have relinquished.

The CF system, as with other cults, gradually dries up and kills off the natural human affections that are found between husbands and wives, and parents and children, and replaces these affections with blind loyalty to the religion and its leader.

I have heard unbelievers describe their astonishment at the callous inhumanity CF members have towards their flesh and blood who leave the movement. They can't understand how a parent can treat their own child with such heartless indifference.

I believe there is some sort of perverse joy in the hearts of those who shun their family members, as it becomes a badge of honour in the CF, something they can proudly display as a mark of their sacrifice: "Look at how much I have joined myself to the fellowship of Christ's suffering, by sacrificing my own child!"

In contrast to the Christless religion of the CF that destroys human affections, true Christianity, empowered by the Holy Spirit, takes our natural familial affections and sanctifies and elevates them to what God intended them to be. Husbands loving their wives with sacrificial love. Wives loving, honouring and submitting to their husbands. Parents lovingly teaching their children by word and example, bringing them up in the nuture and admonition of the Lord. Children honouring and obeying parents.

How anyone can see such evil masquerading as Christianity and not realise it as being the work of Satan is beyond me.

Pray for this young man, that, having forsaken the false Christ of the CF, he will find the true Christ. Pray that those who inflict such evil will be brought to repentence. And pray that the whole diabolical system that facilitates this evil would suffer the vengeance of Almighty God, and be utterly destroyed.

[Bagel]

Ok, I was right with you until the bit about ‘wives submitting to their husbands’. Personally I think that sort of thinking got us into this mess. Time to accept people as people and not squeeze them into boxes that don’t fit.

[baptist1611]

Your response, though disappointing, is not surprising. Ultimately your issue is not with me but with God.

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. (Ephesians 5:22-24)

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord. (Colossians 3:18)

Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; (1 Peter 3:1)

[guest]

One of the elders of the local CF has kicked his 16 year old son out of the home because he did not want to continue in the CF.

It is not surprising that this teenager is an elder’s son.

If eldership couples don’t submit to headship and cut off their children then they wouldn’t remain elders for long.

Bill Barnes was an exception to the rule of law. His children left but he continued to see his son and daughter and grandchildren, while admonishing others to cut their children off!!!

If you are not in leadership Vic doesn’t apply the same stringent rules to cut off children. Plenty of teenagers and young adults have left but their parents (those not in leadership roles) haven’t treated them so cruelly.

The closer you get to a cult leader the more danger you are in!!!!

Elders and leaders beware!!!
Guard your children from the cruelty of abandonment and shunning. Protect them and love them before you lose them.

[Dexter]

...one of the elders of the local CF has kicked his 16 year old son out of the home because he did not want to continue in the CF

This may sound somewhat callous, but I'm happy for this young man, and maybe even a little jealous. Sure, he's lost his family... but what good is a family that doesn't love you? He now has an opportunity to build his life and own his faith for himself (I hope he sticks with God and doesn't throw Him out with the CF). At least he didn't wait until he was 30 or 40 or later, as it's probably a lot harder to undo all the accumulated emotional damage and start again when you're older.

I believe there is some sort of perverse joy in the hearts of those who shun their family members, as it becomes a badge of honour in the CF, something they can proudly display as a mark of their sacrifice: "Look at how much I have joined myself to the fellowship of Christ's suffering, by sacrificing my own child!"

Unfortunately, you're spot on. I lived it. It definitely is like a badge of honour.

[Bagel]

Your response, though disappointing, is not surprising. Ultimately your issue is not with me but with God.

Greetings, yes, you’re right, my issue is with …. Oh hang on, yes my issue is with your opinion of what you think God is, and says. That’s why we have casualties from xCF’s, too many people thinking they have ‘the word’.

You’re welcome to wear the jacket of impracticality, not every size fits all though. I’m happy for you to think what you think. I’m also very happy to see people liberate themselves from the tyranny of the boxes that xCF wants to put people in.

Take care,

Bagel

[baptist1611]

This is really off-topic, but since you've taken it upon yourself to oppose the Scriptures I find it necessary to address what you've said for the sake of others who may be reading this.

Oh hang on, yes my issue is with your opinion of what you think God is, and says.

This has nothing to do with "opinions". The teaching in Scripture concerning the distinct roles of the husband and the wife within the marriage union are explicitly and consistently reiterated from Genesis through to the General Epistles. These plain statements and commands are not the realm of "opinions".

On the sixth day of creation, God made Adam from the dust of the earth, then from one of his ribs God made Eve to be "an help meet" for him (Genesis 2:18ff). "Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man" (1 Corinthians 11:9).

God has ordained three institutions whereby mankind is governed: the state, the church and the family. Within each of these, God has set up authorities to govern them. In the case of the family, the father/husband is the head.

Note carefully Ephesians 5:23: "For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body."

You reject the husband being the head of the wife? Then you must also reject Christ as the head of the church.

The Jews of Christ's day thought they could pick which commands of Scripture they would obey and reject the ones they didn't like (Matthew 23:23), and they were rebuked by the Lord for their hypocrisy.

To cloak your rejection of the clear commands of Scripture with the banal "that's just your opinion" is both childish and dishonest.

Instead of whining about "opinions", why not simply be honest and say what you really mean?

• That you know what the Bible clearly says but you reject it because you think you know better;
• That you don't believe the Bible to be the very word of God, and you disdain those who do;
• That to reject the commands of Scripture is to "liberate" one's self (cf. Psalm 2:3);
• That it is "impractical" to obey the Bible.

I have no doubt you've experienced trauma and abuse at the hands of wolves who have weaponised the the words of Scripture for their perverse and selfish ends, and I sympathise with you. But it is foolish to confuse and conflate clear Biblical commands with the abuses of the CF, and thereby reject the Bible in your rejection of the CF cult.

[Dexter]

I have no doubt you've experienced trauma and abuse at the hands of wolves who have weaponised the the words of Scripture for their perverse and selfish ends, and I sympathise with you. But it is foolish to confuse and conflate clear Biblical commands with the abuses of the CF, and thereby reject the Bible in your rejection of the CF cult.

I absolutely empathise with anyone that has suffered from the abuse of weaponised scripture. I think one of the worst effects of cults like xCF is that they turn people away from God altogether.

I’m painfully aware that truth isn’t always easy to accept or handle. Trust me, I’ve had my own opinions about the whole “headship” thing too, but scripture is clear. When I encounter topics like this that are commonly misused and abused, I work at understanding and applying things in a way that is not unloving or abusive by putting myself in the other person’s shoes.

I’ll leave it there for now. I don’t want to say too much lest I get lambasted again.

Separating the truth from the lies after leaving a cult can take years. Let’s be patient with each other.

[Bagel]

Instead of whining about "opinions", why not simply be honest and say what you really mean?
[chomp]

I have no doubt you've experienced trauma and abuse at the hands of wolves who have weaponised the the words of Scripture for their perverse and selfish ends, and I sympathise with you. But it is foolish to confuse and conflate clear Biblical commands with the abuses of the CF, and thereby reject the Bible in your rejection of the CF cult.

Greetings baptist1611,

I hope this finds you well.

Ok, here's a little cheese to go with your whine

What do I really mean? Well, it sounds as if you are weaponising words from a book to try to control someone.

One of the advantages of attending xCF is that one eventually acquires natural immunity to angry men who have to insist that they are right, often verbosely (as above). So, I completely welcome and accept your opinion. It's just that the noise you make while giving it exceeds the content of the message. In other words, I just hear anger and the need to control, not much else.

I'm also assuming from your posts that you are not from an xCF church, is that right? Were you ever a member?

Also, in regards to your original post on this thread, it is alarming and disheartening if what you say is true. On face value I wonder where the mother stands in all of this. Fortunately in Queensland (and the UK and other places) there is legislation regarding 'coercive control' in domestic settings. In other words, women in Queensland are protected by law from men who seek to control in this manner. I hope the mother puts a stop to it. I know a sixteen year old can be a handful, but using brute force like this is very damaging to all concerned.

Take care,

Bagel

[guest]

Separating the truth from the lies after leaving a cult can take years. Let’s be patient with each other.

Dexter

It is at times a long, lonely walk to recover after spiritual abuse.

Even when we think we’ve processed stuff, we can be triggered and get hurt again and again. It may be complicated and complex, but the assurance of salvation in Jesus is a securing awareness.

Salvation within the fellowship was always questioned. Were we ever going to measure up? What would disqualify us? What was the latest condemnation? And, so it went on and on. Keeping everyone destabilised is a control mechanism. Keeping people fearful and insecure is the way for the elders to dominate.

Knowing we are saved because of Jesus, makes all the difference to life and living.

Yes, the way may be hard after exiting BCF, but praise God for His mercy and grace that keeps us safe and secure.