grief and loss

[BreakFree]

I recently had another new experience. One of my younger relatives passed away unexpectedly and we recently went to the funeral. I witnessed a very large number of my extended family all gathering together grieving the loss of one of us. I was touched to see all these people coming together many of whom I didn’t even know existed. The point being we all came together.

As I reflected today I could not help thinking back to my final 12 months in CF. By this point I was hating life so much and wanting to get out of SCF and go back home. When I was in Sydney a lot of people came up to me and said “I heard you are struggling”, then they would just run off. I was feeling more and more isolated at this time, as well as quite perplexed by the actions of the group. I was actually finding more solace in my work colleagues who didn’t claim any sort of religious affiliation as they were firstly kind and taking the time to actually talk to me rather than just talk at me.

I have heard it said by many, as you would have heard it said, “the church is my family”. If the church is your family, ask yourself how do your family stack up when life gets a little hard, let alone really hard. Matthew 25 clearly outlines Jesus definition of the sheep and the goats so why don’t CF reach out to their own in times of great need let alone others who are the ‘least of these’.

While I never really understood the concept of family or how significant family are, seeing all my relatives come together and support one another has really highlighted to me what healthy supports look like.

On the point of grief. Again this is something completely foreign to me. I have studied the stages of grief, But I don’t think I was ever allowed to experience grief in a normal way. I remember hearing, ‘this is the suffering of Christ for you, you should be happy and thankful for this situation…” What garbage this is. I think if I heard that I would HULK punch the person into the next century. As I process the recent events, I take comfort for the first time in my life that I am actually not alone and I don’t have to carry my grief by myself.

[Helen Pomery]

I take comfort for the first time in my life that I am actually not alone and I don’t have to carry my grief by myself.

Thank you for your honesty and openness here on this forum.

I’m very thankful you had a real experience of family at the funeral of your young relative.

I also have learnt by God’s grace and mercy, that ‘I am not alone’ even when at times I feel lonely.