Contact with Family still in CF

[guest]

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[Faith Hopegood]

Hi Lillith and Guest.

Thanks for your posts. In response to Guest, you are correct. I would say in 95% of cases, the family will chose the CF over the person who has left.

Lilith, thanks for your words of wisdom. I complete agree with your statements:

There is extreme “othering” in these and recent sermons.
That is, in their words - “the word is having a polarizing effect”, dividing people into either vessels for honour if you obey the CF teachings which are coming “out of heaven” from the presbytery messengers, or on the other hand, vessels of dishonor fit for destruction.

So to answer Guest’s question, our families are being taught to fear those of us who’ve departed the CFs because we could influence them to question their commitment to that church and end up in hell.
And yes, I been watching too, and am relying a lot on Streetcar feedback, as I feel this teaching must be leading to increased levels of shunning.

Whatever the range of thoughts about the afterlife that are held amongst us on this forum, what I sense is that you would be leaving such issues of judgement to the God who is Love.
I have noticed among the ex CFers here, an increased experience of the Grace and Love of God in your lives.

We (and all other people) have to listen to Vic's words with this filter of Vic's main objective. Every sermon or "present truth" or midnight visitations that Vic Hall preaches or visions that he as seen are solely designed to drive Vic's objective of having control over people and splitting them away from any ability to take a step back and review and meditate and examine the wider global effects and truth or falsehoods that Vic preaches. Vic wants all the plebs, whether it be in Brisbane or any other centre to have complete unthinking blind obedience to their commands. Why do you think they keep everyone so busy and have so many meetings, home groups, sermons, bible studies, working bees etc? It is to keep people teetering on the cusp of exhaustion so they lose the will and ability of critical thinking and analysis.

[guest]

I've noticed over the past 12 months that my extended family have gone very cold on any kind of catch-up where previously they were happy to come over to each other's house / have dinner etc.

My strategy is to not push the issue and that way they don't get in a situation where they have to break cover and formally cut us off. That way there's no permanent relational damage to deal with after Vic's doomsday doesn't come.

[Faith Hopegood]

Hello guest, I too can confirm that my extended family has become more cold as well over the past 12 months. Similar to yourself, I am not pushing the issue, even if it just means keeping a one-way communication relationship.

I think with a fair amount of certainty, that we can attribute this growing coldness/distance is a deliberate action on the various people who are still in the CF and a direct effect of the divisive preaching of Vic Halls message over the past two or three years.

The snippets I am hearing from CF sermons, bible studies etc is that Vic is constantly pushing for CF members to distance themselves from "the unenlightened, fallen, backslidden, unsaved, unwashed" non-CF family members, in particular, never associate with a person who has left the CF! Family member who have never been in the CF are barely tolerated and are looked down on. But associating with people who have left the CF, well... Vic has brain washed them so bad, that they think you are the devil incarnate!

This divisive preaching was certainly evident 2 years ago and has its fruit with your direct family members (ie siblings, parents) initially saying they will come over to your home for Christmas Day lunch etc. Then they subsequently tell you they are unable to make it to your place on Christmas Day to spend the day with family members, and they would rather have Christmas Day fellowship with other CF member at the local park! And when you call them on Christmas Day to wish them well, you can hear the pious self-righteous pride in their voices. Very very sad indeed. And very very destructive.

[Stargazer]

I too can confirm, over the last 12 months, that our CF family have totally backed away from the non-CF family. Last Christmas , the CFers blatantly said, “we are choosing to have Christmas with our church family”. We are committed Christian’s, so I’m assuming we are apart of the “church family” too. Our children don’t hear from their grandparents, cousins, uncles and aunties…very sad. What once, was a tight family, has diminished to nothing. No social contact. We use to try but there’s always an excuse for them to not turn up or have us over. The most sad thing about all the cutting off behaviour, is that people are watching their behaviours and choosing to walk away from God. Just terrible…and Vic is to blame!

[guest]

Are grandparents (still in CF) still aloud to send written letters, birthday cards and gifts to their young grandchildren of adult children who have left?
Or is this in disobedience to Vic Hall's commands?
It seems a few grandparents have found a loophole in Vic's rules.

Thoughts?

[Stargazer]

Our children received birthday gifts from the grandparents inside CF….left at the front door! No sign of the grandparent… what kind of message do you think this sends to a grandchild?.. this is psychological abuse!

[guest]

Hi Guest, Stargazer. I became a father over 12 months ago now and my parents (still in XCF) couldn’t be more aloof and uninterested in my child’s life. It’s offensive and hurtful. I had hoped having my own child would create some sort of connection between my parents and I, but it’s done the opposite. I can’t let my son grow up asking why his Grandparents don’t love him, call to check in, say hi. I’m at a loss as to what to do, but the only option is to give back what has been given to me - distance, boundaries and no willing contact.

[guest]

Hi guest,

I feel your pain. Also in a similar situation being the only family member not in the CF churches. It’s crazy people believe the vile Vic and his men preach about being cut off from others and somehow this aligns with scripture? Total false doctrine. We have kids that no longer see cousins and uncles and aunties because we fellowship elsewhere. No check ins from family to say hi, see how you’re going, you know - just things good people would do. Makes you wonder if people like that are worth being family anyway if that’s how easily they give up relationship or decency. Plenty of good people who love Jesus truthfully that we can support outside the CFs.

[BreakFree]

Hi Guest, Stargazer. I became a father over 12 months ago now and my parents (still in XCF) couldn’t be more aloof and uninterested in my child’s life. It’s offensive and hurtful. I had hoped having my own child would create some sort of connection between my parents and I, but it’s done the opposite. I can’t let my son grow up asking why his Grandparents don’t love him, call to check in, say hi. I’m at a loss as to what to do, but the only option is to give back what has been given to me - distance, boundaries and no willing contact.

Dear Guest, Congratulations on becoming a father. Its really life changing. I feel all you are saying. Its a deep pain I carry protecting my son from my parents and the people they have become, but I do not want him to be hurt in the way I have been. I made a promise to myself that I would not become my father, rather be the father I wish I had. I would love to chat further with you. If you want to be in touch I can be reached on this email. cifs.workshop.bcf@gmail.com.

Blessing
BF