Tell me what you want, what you really really want

[BreakFree]

I've been pondering the last few days about what I want. If Samson's initiative is successful and the CF cult is made accountable what is it that I want from it all.
financial compensation would be nice but its not what is driving my involvement with Samson.
seeing the abusers face when they are found guilty would be sweet justice

but my ultimate is I would love to just have a genuine relationship with my family. To know that I am loved and the people who brought me into the world actually care about me.

People coming out from cults have different experiences have different challenges. Being born in presents the challenge of never experiencing love as a child. I taught myself to comply with the rules in order to survive but I never felt safe and never experienced love. I had 0 sense of normal. The cult was my normal.

What I am emotionally preparing myself for is this. People are going to find out CF is a cult one way or another. But they may not accept it. Even if the whole organisation dissolves if people don't do the work of deculting they will be trapped by the patterns of thinking that held them there. I am hoping this is not the case but preparing for it so I don't get disappointed again.

Blessings to all
BF

[Demelza]

Yes yes - after the dust has settled - relationships with family is most important as well as those family members still in the cult being free to know Christ’s unconditional love for them.

[Helen Pomery]

Not to us, O LORD, not to us, but to Your name goes all the glory for Your unfailing love and faithfulness.

Psalm 115 : 1

Of course, I hope and pray for reconciliation with my family as we all do. I’m confident in my own heart and soul that God encourages me to believe for this.

I’m not sure whether it will be this side of heaven or whether it will be at home in heaven where we are finally reunited?

I would also add that at the closure of this chapter in the history of this evil that we would all stand together to give glory to God for His deliverance.

My own testimony is that I’ve found God’s mercy, love and faithfulness through the suffering. Can’t fully explain it.


I know His love for me in a greater measure and my heart overflows with love for Him, in greater measure also. Would I have found the depth of this relationship without the suffering?

Perhaps one day we will have the joy and privilege to stand united not just in our pain and travail, but giving glory to God for His unfailing love and faithfulness to each of us and also for our beloved family members as well!

[Sending.flowers]

I don't care about the money - although I would like to see some restitution made to those who were heavily tithed with whatever money is available.

I just want to see my family, whole and at peace. I want them to experience true love - not the twisted, conditional so called love of XCF. I want them to shake off the fear they have suffered under for decades. I want them to know that they are wonderful as they are - and not constantly be told they're not good enough no matter how they try.

Nobody deserves to be treated the way the XCF elders treat their congregation. It is unacceptable, unbiblical and hateful.

[Wonderboy]

I have spent a long time thinking about this.

Firstly - I want to rename this thread “Tell me what you want, what you really really want”. In honour of the Spice girls.
After that,

I want- relationships restored
I want- accountability from elders who have caused damage - go back and write a list of every member who left under your care and face them and apologise.
I want - to look my abusers in the face and say you did not break me
I want - to see the elders go and get real jobs in the real world and see how much energy and time they have left to make up non sensensical garbage.
I want - a scandal so big nobody can ignore it and sweep it under the rug
I want- XCF to be a distant memory that holds no power over any person.

That’s all.

And maybe a nice steak for dinner.

[BreakFree]

I like your sense of humor Wonderboy I hope we meet in person sometime.
I'm not really a spice girls man myself but my wife did choose that song for the bouquet toss at our wedding.

[Bagel]

I have spent a long time thinking about this.

Firstly - I want to rename this thread “Tell me what you want, what you really really want”. In honour of the Spice girls.
After that,

I want- relationships restored
I want- accountability from elders who have caused damage - go back and write a list of every member who left under your care and face them and apologise.
I want - to look my abusers in the face and say you did not break me
I want - to see the elders go and get real jobs in the real world and see how much energy and time they have left to make up non sensensical garbage.
I want - a scandal so big nobody can ignore it and sweep it under the rug
I want- XCF to be a distant memory that holds no power over any person.

That’s all.

And maybe a nice steak for dinner.

Gold

[Paul Kovaks]

I agree with everyone else above ^.

But, to be specific, I’d love to see:

1. For the sake of others and the general public:

a. Cessation of ostracisation of ex-members

b. Prosecution of sexual, physical, financial, psychological and privacy abuse crimes and regulatory breaches.

c. Immediate sackings of almost all elders and wind-up of the organization and seizure of all assets by an appointed trustee.

2. For me personally

a. Apologies and my first ever frank and truthful discussions with some perpetrators about what they did to:

(i) my personal life (near shut down of my entire life including my interests, missions, career, business, reputation, ministry & sanity)

(ii) my wife’s ability to contribute in the slightest to her community (total shut down of all her initiatives by MCF elders & their wives)

(iiI) the destruction of our faith community (conversion of Bible-based Christian theology and vibrant living into a bullying, abusive, narcissistic, manipulative, legalistic non-Bible-based cult)

b. $500K (discounted down from $20M) restitution made for losses incurred from their despicable, manipulative banning (at threat of loss of eternal salvation, community standing and relationships) of my crucial career steps (overseas postdoc, 1996 and disallowed to apply for jobs, 1996-2000) and business commercializations of my software prototypes and development of the craft and vocation I loved (search technologies, AI & entrepreneurship,1996-2003).

The later would enable us to one day own our home again and compensate us for outrageously callous, unnecessary, manipulative interferences in our lives that we consider to be criminal, calculated to harm and crazily sociopathic.