I was considering the nature of abusive and controlling people the other day. I have noticed some common factors.
One factor in particular is the unique weakness of an abuser to be able to verbally abuse people, sometimes in a violent and loud manner, and yet nearly in the very same breath claim to be a victim of abuse when someone asks them a reasonable question in a quite manner.
I saw this exhibited the other day by the Governor of New York State, Andrew Cuomo. In one sentence he gave everyone a lecture how they had to be nice when interacting with him and ask not difficult questions in the same sentence he yelled at reporters who had dared to ask him a searching question. It instantly triggered back to my traumatic time at the Christian Fellowship!
Here is Cuomo telling reporters not to be obnoxious then yelling at them and then saying "I don't care what you think". Check out the interaction here.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YRPMp2_x6go
The reason I highlight this issue is that leaders in controlling organisations and businesses also act in the same way. They expect to be treated really nicely and spoken to nicely but reserve the right to speak to people in an obnoxious and bullying way. When they are asked searching question, they instantly default claim victim status. I had a former leader in the CF churches do exactly this to me when I politely questioned one of their policies. The volcanic verbal eruption that followed definitely indicated the CF elder had perhaps not read his scriptures about the peaceable fruits of the Spirit!
The other great skill that controlling leaders have is the ability to gaslight their congregations and employees etc. Politicians are masters of this. Blame the opposition for the sins that we have been discovered doing!
The Nature of Abusers
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Re: The Nature of Abusers
Excellent example with Cuomo. His policy must be, "Tell everyone to leave their guns at the door, then shoot them." Drastic hypocrisy.
Edit: I just wanted to add that the original reporter didn't even sound the least bit obnoxious, so it's weird how Mr. Cuomo misread him like that and then gave everyone a demonstration of what he claimed to be advocating against. Honestly, it's hard not to daydream about a new heavens and earth where that kind of obnoxious attitude won't even be a memory.
Edit: I just wanted to add that the original reporter didn't even sound the least bit obnoxious, so it's weird how Mr. Cuomo misread him like that and then gave everyone a demonstration of what he claimed to be advocating against. Honestly, it's hard not to daydream about a new heavens and earth where that kind of obnoxious attitude won't even be a memory.
Similar story. I used to work with a CF leader. If I made a mistake, he'd snap at me like a wounded mongrel but if he made a mistake he'd be like, "Well, life happens ya know."I had a former leader in the CF churches do exactly this to me when I politely questioned one of their policies. The volcanic verbal eruption that followed definitely indicated the CF elder had perhaps not read his scriptures about the peaceable fruits of the Spirit!
![Uber Geek :ugeek:](./images/smilies/icon_e_ugeek.gif)
Re: The Nature of Abusers
Crazy, crazy, crazy! One of the things that cemented the fact I was involved with a pack of ravenous wolves is when I was blamed for an accident one of the precious elders was involved in. One day I will share the idiotic story of how this whole pile of roo dung was transferred from his shoe to mine.....I was somewhat polite when this little scene developed, but I was steaming mad by the time I got in my car to head home.
Totally non scriptural. Totally made up and totally ridiculous. One more example of all the shame and guilt being lifted off a chosen elder and placed on a poor, innocent, inconsequential little pleb...
Totally non scriptural. Totally made up and totally ridiculous. One more example of all the shame and guilt being lifted off a chosen elder and placed on a poor, innocent, inconsequential little pleb...
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