Leaving BCF or any associated Fellowship group
Posted: Tue May 16, 2023 12:57 pm
5 Tips For Leaving A Cult
It can be scary leaving a group that may have once felt like family. Maybe you relocated to live with them or gave up your job and all your finances. Maybe the group is all you've ever known. If starting over sounds overwhelming, it's okay. Take one step at a time.
Here are five to get you started from people who left cults themselves:
1) Make a plan
If you need somewhere safe to go, reach out to a family member or friend outside the group. Say you need help. Ask them to come get you or find the best way to get to them. If you don't know anyone outside the group, find out where the nearest local police station or domestic shelter is and how to get there. Notice any bus stops nearby. Just get on a bus if you need to. Call a cab if you can. If you fear you will be in danger for leaving, the important thing is to just leave however you can.
2) Pack a go-bag
You may need to leave at a moment's notice. Try to have a bag or backpack ready with a change of clothes, food, and filled water bottles, unless you're afraid the bag might be discovered. Be prepared for an opportunity to leave by keeping money and a cell phone on you if you have them. Wear sturdy shoes.
3) Don’t tell anyone you’re leaving
They may try to talk you out of it, block you, or report your plan to others. Keep your doubts and intentions a secret. Try to go about your business as usual to avoid suspicion.
4) Reach out to others who have left
Talking with others who have left your group can help encourage and validate your decision to leave. They might even be able to help you. Try finding them on Facebook or through friends and family they may have mentioned.
Read stories of other ex-members for encouragement and validation in online support forums. Use public library computers if you can to avoid your search history being discovered.
5) Get professional counselling
There are therapists and experts specializing in cult recovery who want to help you. Many were once cult members themselves. Say you are in a destructive group and need help leaving. They will help you find safety, learn how to filter harmful programming from your own truth, and give you tools to rebuild a life for yourself outside of the group.
Leaving a high-demand group often isn't easy. Remember the reasons you doubt or distrust them.
Remember YOU are the one looking out for YOU.
You are not an idiot or a traitor.
You're a human being deserving of freedom, safety, and support.
(Many people have left, others have been excommunicated. Every story is unique.
Those who have a plan and seek help are wise for the process is traumatic. You will be shunned! Help is available)
It can be scary leaving a group that may have once felt like family. Maybe you relocated to live with them or gave up your job and all your finances. Maybe the group is all you've ever known. If starting over sounds overwhelming, it's okay. Take one step at a time.
Here are five to get you started from people who left cults themselves:
1) Make a plan
If you need somewhere safe to go, reach out to a family member or friend outside the group. Say you need help. Ask them to come get you or find the best way to get to them. If you don't know anyone outside the group, find out where the nearest local police station or domestic shelter is and how to get there. Notice any bus stops nearby. Just get on a bus if you need to. Call a cab if you can. If you fear you will be in danger for leaving, the important thing is to just leave however you can.
2) Pack a go-bag
You may need to leave at a moment's notice. Try to have a bag or backpack ready with a change of clothes, food, and filled water bottles, unless you're afraid the bag might be discovered. Be prepared for an opportunity to leave by keeping money and a cell phone on you if you have them. Wear sturdy shoes.
3) Don’t tell anyone you’re leaving
They may try to talk you out of it, block you, or report your plan to others. Keep your doubts and intentions a secret. Try to go about your business as usual to avoid suspicion.
4) Reach out to others who have left
Talking with others who have left your group can help encourage and validate your decision to leave. They might even be able to help you. Try finding them on Facebook or through friends and family they may have mentioned.
Read stories of other ex-members for encouragement and validation in online support forums. Use public library computers if you can to avoid your search history being discovered.
5) Get professional counselling
There are therapists and experts specializing in cult recovery who want to help you. Many were once cult members themselves. Say you are in a destructive group and need help leaving. They will help you find safety, learn how to filter harmful programming from your own truth, and give you tools to rebuild a life for yourself outside of the group.
Leaving a high-demand group often isn't easy. Remember the reasons you doubt or distrust them.
Remember YOU are the one looking out for YOU.
You are not an idiot or a traitor.
You're a human being deserving of freedom, safety, and support.
(Many people have left, others have been excommunicated. Every story is unique.
Those who have a plan and seek help are wise for the process is traumatic. You will be shunned! Help is available)