Contact with Family still in CF

[BreakFree]

Hello,
I am wondering how people manage their situations with family members still in CF once you have left.
I ask this out because my family are still in. Despite numerous attempts they do not want to see the facts or take accountability for their behaviour. Initially I was sunned and excommunicated for a number of years. The birth of my son changed this and for about 18 months things were alright. Things took a turn September 2023 and now Christmas has passed I really don't want anyting to do with them. I need to protect myself and protect my son. I just don't know how many chances they deserve.

[Thanomere84]

Hi there BreakFree,

I do feel for you. My family, many members are still in my old church, ICC, which is wholly and completely a branch of the CFs. Only thing they haven't done is to change their name, which isn't surprising as here in Malaysia, any church procedures are generally made difficult to carry through, thanks to the government. My family members have also never taken responsibility for how cruel they were to me. Many still think I'm wrong, I'm the rebel, I'm the evil one. I am forced to just live as though I no longer have these family members. The pain is indescribable, especially when I remember better times with them - but then again, I will never go crawling back to them.

[Stargazer]

Breakfree, I reiterate that shunning has definitely taken a turn for the worst since September 2023. I understand that Vichead was at MCF in September 2023 and the conferences over the public holiday weekend, aimed at congregates making the transition to move away from blood family to their “church family”. Many families who are out of there, did not see their MCF and associated clans, for Christmas Day family celebrations. Vic and the leaders have taken a harsh new standing on separating themselves from outside family and community. I have been told that Vic actually yelled to the congregation from the pulpit “don’t you even dare to have a long weekend holiday as you are all to be here”. Exact wording!! He is totally out of control. It’s extremely hurtful for all families involved. The brainwashing is horrific.

[Dexter]

Vic actually yelled to the congregation from the pulpit “don’t you even dare to have a long weekend holiday as you are all to be here”.

You know, the more I learn about that guy the more I don't care for him.

https://youtu.be/jH4hMvj5E28?si=kvo6GG0IckZlwGc-

[guest]

Vic and the leaders have taken a harsh new standing on separating themselves from outside family and community. I

Vic may think he can rule and lord it over everyone but he is deceived. He is not that powerful.

God is the Saviour and Redeemer of this world.

[Dexter]

Things took a turn September 2023 and now Christmas has passed I really don't want anyting to do with them. I need to protect myself and protect my son. I just don't know how many chances they deserve.

I can relate.

With regards to family in the fellowship, I've decided that if they really want to cut me off then I'll honour their decision. If they ever reach out I'll be ready to welcome them back.

I have tried to talk sense with family and friends before but they just shut down. Sometimes their eyes glaze over. I still hope and pray that they'll eventually find their way out.

(I should add that one family member seems to show signs of life so I am hopeful. I haven't written anyone off completely yet but in the same way a watched pot never boils, I assume a watched cult member never escapes.)

[Helen Pomery]

With regards to family in the fellowship, I've decided that if they really want to cut me off then I'll honour their decision. If they ever reach out I'll be ready to welcome them back.

I have tried to talk sense with family and friends before but they just shut down. Sometimes their eyes glaze over. I still hope and pray that they'll eventually find their way out.

May I share my thoughts on this subject as it’s an intensely personal response and decision that is between you and God.

No one has walked in your shoes.
No one knows the words that have been spoken between you and your loved ones.
No one knows what emotional resilience a person has and many times we don’t understand our own weaknesses.

God sees all, knows all and knows the very fabric of our being.
We turn to Him for guidance and wisdom and my response will not necessarily be your response.


I have not seen my son and my eldest daughter in over 20 years.
I have grandchildren I have never seen.
God is faithful and He guides me in every step I take.

When it’s birthdays, I send a card. I stand at the letterbox and pray. I write as best as I can but words seem so weak. I can never truly express the depths in my soul and I feel so helpless.

God strengthens me with faith and trust in Him. My letters, my cards, my words won’t change anyone, I know that because I’ve tried for over 20 years. However, when God takes our words, our appeals, our prayers, our forgiveness and blesses them
with His love and truth then we have an indescribable peace.


What we do or don’t do, is not the issue in my opinion because none of us know how to break this deception. It is God who will work for His will and His plan and purpose. When we place our faith and trust in Him, we can entrust our loved ones into the most wonderful hands of love possible!

As we do this He gives unexplainable peace. This is my experience after 20+ years of heartbreak. I’m not more frustrated or anxious as the years pass by. God is building faith and trust into my soul that I’ve never experienced before.


By grace we are redeemed and restored …. And as we live in that grace and mercy we find He meets us. If God wants my family restored to me (and that’s my faith) I will be grateful for every day that I live looking for His hand at work.

This is only my viewpoint. It’s all I can share. By grace He is leading us all.

[Dexter]

I always appreciate your comments Helen. I still can't fathom the severity of your family's shunning. I love that you still write knowing that nothing has changed in 20+ years. I'm reminded of Galatians 6:9:

‭‭Let’s not be weary in doing good, for we will reap in due season if we don’t give up.

[Dexter]

I don't know where to leave this but this thread seems as good as any.

https://youtu.be/yG8IDNQ9V04?si=IgQOQbhCj5Jvmovw

Takeaway: Pray, believing.

[guest]

Vic and the leaders have taken a harsh new standing on separating themselves from outside family and community

What will Vic do if people will not cut off their loved ones as ordered?